I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
