Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
