I got chris browned last night
My hand turned me down
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
