Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
