turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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