Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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