Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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