You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
