wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
