they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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