You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
