1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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