Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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