I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
sex in a hospital.. check
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
