think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
