so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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