Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
