Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
