oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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