Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
