My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
my poor anus
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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