Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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