i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
