next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
