Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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