His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
