He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
