we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize