i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
