You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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