Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
