My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
