The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
