omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize