We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
