you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
