yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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