New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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