this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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