I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
