i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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