So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
