My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think your dad took our porno
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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