i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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