If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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