Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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