Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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