plz talk dirty to me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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