It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
And then he peed in my hair
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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