how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
