And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
