whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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