apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
