I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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