Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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