Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If that was your dad, he is hot
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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