im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
