You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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