Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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