We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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