THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
