this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
