She announced her abortion via fbk
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
