Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
