Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
