Cold hands, warm shart.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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