I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
