they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
