Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
