I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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