In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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