Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
His hands were made for my vagina.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
