covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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