Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
